Only on my own
by RussiaIvanBraginski
Summary: A very tragic war breaks out between the two countries of Russia and America. Ivan and Alfred, two star crossed lovers and soldiers on opposite sides of the war secretly write letters to each other so they won't lose contact. When Ivan is sent to America as a spy, will he choose his love over his own country?
1. Silly dreams

A small, sincere smile was printed on Ivan's sleeping face. For once he wasn't having a bad dream like usual... He was dreaming that Alfred was with him and that everything was okay… However, during a time of war between the two countries they lived in, this was obviously just a dream, short-lived, and he woke up soon.

Ivan closed his eyes, to keep the image of his deep blue eyes, and golden hair. He shook his head, snapping back to the fact that it was a war, and they were both soldiers. He wondered how Alfred felt about this… The whole thing put Ivan in a tizzy, that they were so happy together, then suddenly, everyone else feels that Russia and America has unfinished business from the cold war to take care of. It was so stupid…

Standing, Ivan walked to the canteen. He tended to get up earlier than most of the other soldiers, and tended to wander, letting his thoughts carry him away from the war, away from fighting against the one he loved so dearly.

"How is any of this fair? …It's not, life isn't fair, Ivan…" He muttered to himself, continuing to waltz in a dream-like state around the tables. He knew that since they met, it was God's way of protecting them… They would meet again, he knew it.

Ivan ambled to his position near the wall as the other solders woke up. The commander came out and began his seemingly favorite thing to do, bark orders in Russian at the soldiers.

"Ivan! Come here!" The commander yelled, scowling at Ivan.

Ivan barely pulled himself together, to snap back to reality long enough to communicate to anyone other that his own thoughts. He ran to the commander, waiting for the crack. Usually whenever Ivan would daydream, the commander would slap him. He clenched his teeth, readying himself for the blow.

And there was the sharp pain in his cheek. _Good morning everyone, I should be awake now._

"So, Ivan. Are you out of your little _love land_ yet?" The commander asked in a mocking tone, holding his journal out to him. Ivan had no idea how he kept getting it, he kept it under his pillow with his hand wrapped around it so he would awaken if anyone took it. He swore it was still there this morning...

He grabbed the journal, his cheeks a bit red from embarrassment and the slapping... This was like living in hell for him.

"Yessir..." Ivan muttered, looking down. "I'm sorry..."

"Ok, Back in line!" The commander hissed out from between his teeth. Ivan stumbled back to his place, blinking back the tears that had pearled in the corners of his eyes. All of Ivan would ache when he was hit, the part that would miss Alfred, his cheek- the physical stuff, and he would just _feel _hurt without actually having to be hurt. He would be far past the slapping, but all of him would still ache with longing and despair.

"I think you're all good enough to be on the battlefield now. However, Ivan..." The commander smiled an oily stab-you-a-thousand-times smile.

"Sir?" He asked, biting his lip out of nerves. Normally he was separated from all of the others... He was drafted, no choice of joining or not. What could he have in store this time?

"You'll be sent as a spy to America~"


	2. Distant Memories

It was 4 in the morning and as usual, it was another sleepless night- well... _morning_ for the American soldier. Sitting up and leaning his elbows against his knees and his chin against his hands, he reminded himself of the first time he met Ivan. Sweet, yet distant memories of his silky bleach-blonde hair, and his unusual violet eyes made him wonder how Ivan was fairing...

Alfred was just so worried about Ivan. He wasn't the toughest person Alfred knew- defiantly not. He was actually quite the softie- Not that he'd let anyone but Al see that.

"Well... I guess since it's almost five, I best get all the rest I can..." he muttered to himself, laying back down, pulling the covers to his chin.

He knew that he was worried, but he hadn't planned on crying. A few hot tears of worry slid down his cheeks as he hugged his very worn-out pillow to his chest. If only it was Ivan... Feeling his soft hair against his cheek, the warmth they would share, cold nights with hot chocolate... He missed every _part_ of Ivan...

When the others began to stir, he stood up, pulled his boots on and walked through the mess hall to the parade grounds. It was slightly overcast outside, looking like it was about to storm. He was the only one who was out there at the moment, not even any commanders.

Alfred looked to the sky, feeling the first drop of nice, cold rain fall on his cheek. He let a small, tired smile shape his lips as the others crowded around him.

"You ok, Al?" His bunk mate- and best friend asked.

"Fine... Thanks, Adam." He replied with a nod, turning his attention to the approaching sergeant. He was pretty good at lying, so he decided that he'd be able to convince Adam that he was fine.

"AAAAALRIGHT. It seems it's spritzing. But we're grown men and women, correct?!" The sergeant barked looking for a 'Yes sir!' which he got as a pleased smirk formed on his lips. Alfred lazily muttered his 'yes sir' a while after everyone else, him barely being able to focus on the sergeant with Ivan clouding his brain.

He could still remember the first time Ivan came into his quaint little coffee shop while he was on vacation. They instantly clicked, it just was something about that thick accent and those deep violet eyes that seemed to hold so many memories... It was like the clouds of his once dull life had suddenly parted. Ivan would come back to his little shop every day and they'd talk for hours on end, and finally, after three days of that, they were able to admit that they loved each other. It was the most wonderful feeling, knowing that someone loved you.

When Ivan had to go back, Alfred was saddened greatly. Luckily, they had swapped addresses, so they'd send each other mail frequently. Alfred was slightly nervous when he read the news about the tension rising between the two countries, for fear that they'd not be able to see each other for a while, but something even worse happened. _War_ broke out between Russia and America, and Alfred knew he'd be drafted.

With that devastation, Alfred wrote letters to Ivan from his camp, but little did he know that Ivan was drafted as well. Because he hadn't received any replies to his latest mail, he was terribly worried and couldn't help but wonder what happened to him.

* * *

_Okay, guys! Sorry it took so long for me to finally publish the second chapter QAQ I've just been really busy with camp and stuff like that! I hope you enjoy this, I've thought long and hard about how Alfred acts for this chapter as well, since I roleplay Ivan, it came naturally to me with the first chapter- not so much with this one. I can't decide if I should flash to the families for chapter 3 or if I should go back to Ivan, being deployed. PM me, and let me know, and whichever has the most votes I'll do! _


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